The Perks of being over 50

Outside: The Perks of being over 50.
Inside:
-People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you ????"
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won't wear you out.
- You can live without sex, but not your glasses.
- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
- You no longer think speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
- You sing along with elevator music.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size
- And you notice these are all in BIG PRINT for your convenience.
Happy Birthday!